I just prayed. Really prayed. It's part of my practice now. It's so interesting because it's not what I understand as prayer in a religious sense, not that I know too much about that. But it's more about communicating with an energy that I do not fully understand.
This morning, I asked Tao if I could read aloud to him a third step prayer. I told him I wanted to practice it and so I shared it.
"God direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking and fear. God inspire my thinking, decisions and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man. AMEN"
(p. 86, Alcoholics Anonymous)
I love this prayer because it takes the pressure off of me and turns my life over to a power greater than myself. Takes me off the hook for my thoughts. It's not my fault what comes into my head, but it's my choice as to how I react.
When I think about the concept of God, it is a creative intelligence. I said to Tao this morning, "It's crazy because when I'm praying I don't know who or what I'm praying too. I try to know what the energy looks like, the energy of God. But then I just realized, it's everything. Everything is God."
I have never been a religious person. I don't plan to be in the future but who knows. For now, I can learn from other religions and be inspired by them, but I have my own spiritual connectivity to the universe.
I don't pretend to have all the answers. I doubt I ever will. But I have found a way of living that feels comfortable in my soul and connected to the universe.
Perhaps this path will connect me further to my fellow humans. I'm still working on that. Understanding the whole of humanity and why some people do what they do--that's a perplexing task. In the meantime, I practice, pray and meditate for answers.
